I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
