pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
