took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
