I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize