Plan B is the new Plan A
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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