Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
