This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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