You're completely useless in the revolution.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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