so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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