that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
