put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Oh god it's open bar.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
