My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
