Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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