So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Congratulations! We have a period
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