my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
