question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it because I queefed?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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