I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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