So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
