Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
