I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
