just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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