I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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