I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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