I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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