Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
