Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
