I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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