Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
