Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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