She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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