Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
