THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
