he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
