watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
