Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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