I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
