return my video game
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
