You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
