I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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