Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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