I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
