i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
