what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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