does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
