He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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