quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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