Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
