i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
