Your tits are I can't wait for
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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