ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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